i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
