Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Randomize
