You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
this hospital has no fireball
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
