Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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