Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
