i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
