no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
