I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
