yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
