I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
