this just has baby written all over it
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
