i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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