About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
