My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
