Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
