True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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