So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
