He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
