That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
