So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
