were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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