your thong is hanging out like whoa
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
