just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
