I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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