I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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