Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
