At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
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