fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
