New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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