If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I would fuck him just for his dog
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
