So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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