So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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