come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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