I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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