Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
