just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
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