i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
My penis needs a shock collar
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
