Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
