I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
