Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
