He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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