i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
