Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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