don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
