I am puke
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
