Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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