You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
