What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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