Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
