dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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