We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
